'Nowhere to go, Dad'

My son came to me recently during a weekend whereby as a family we didn’t have much on and said the following

“I’m bored I’ve nothing to do!!”

Well at first, as I am sure a lot of people reading this will identify with, I reacted in the following manner

“Bored! You don’t know the meaning of the word Bored! books, football, garden to play in, x-box to play on, laptop to go on, TV to watch, music to listen to,  jobs to do round the house, homework to complete, friends to contact and visit……….and you have the cheek to say you’re bored!!!”

but then my son after hearing my list of possibilities replied, unusually

“Yes Dad but me and my friends have nowhere to go”

I can’t quite remember how that conversation finally ended, most probably with my son heading off to do one of the many material things available to him to waste his time. However that statement “Nowhere to go” stuck rattling around my head.

I started to think “Nowhere to go” there is the skate park and playground in Ormskirk, shops, coffee shops, community groups, sport groups, activities to go to do all over the area. So why did he say there is "Nowhere to go".

So I started the conversation with my son again later that week this time concentrating and really listening to why he said “Nowhere to go” and as he talked I got it – light bulb moment!

What “Nowhere to go” meant to my son was “Nowhere to go where I can just hang out with my mates , chat, mess around, do nothing and just be a kid”

WOW!!!!!!!! Believe you me, this hit home hard.

We are very good at setting up lots for children and young adults to do and go – parks, shops, coffee shops, sporting groups such as football/cricket/tennis etc, dance/acting groups, scouts/guides, church groups etc, etc, but when we really spoke about it all these are or have been developed with a direct purpose for going.

I thought about this more and tried to remember when I was my son’s age. I used to grab a football early weekend mornings and head to our local field. I didn’t need to call for anybody when I got there friends of all ages where either there or during the day appeared and then went off to do other things. Did we play football? Yes we did, but we also climbed trees, lay down and watched clouds, played other games such as blocky (hide & seek), smelly eggs (game with a tennis ball and running the furthest away from someone as I remember). We also sat and chatted about the world, TV programmes, school stuff and dare I say girls or other boys to the girls in the group!! you could say we……

“Hung out with mates and chatted, messed around, did nothing and where kids”

Now there is a lot of places this blog could go with this; Have corporations have made it too easy for children just to sit in front of TV screens, possibly; Do parents live in fear of letting their children out for the day to play, possibly; Or Have we structured a life that children can easily find themselves falling into which leaves nothing to imagination, messing about, falling out of trees and eating mud (last one just me then J), possibly, however I think they are for future blog posts.

For me though the direct effect of this conversation has set me off on understanding more about how to develop somewhere where my son, his friends and the children and young people of our community can have somewhere safe but unstructured, that they could go to and hang out – for me it is almost thinking around a return to the ‘Traditional Youth Club’ watch this space people I will make this happen!

Thanks for reading and please as always I’d love your comments J

Stephen

‘With hope and belief there are no limitations’

Music plays a huge part in my life

A more personalised post this time on how music plays a huge part in my life.

It still amazes me how a simple piece of music can make us react and feel such different emotions. I thought I would let you into a few of the ways music has touched me over the years.

There is a lot written  about the use of music for dementia patients indeed I read an article only last week that stated that ‘The Sound of Music’ supported positive wellbeing for a group of people with dementia http://t.co/7xllS8NM96

Indeed I have seen first-hand with my own Grandma, who is currently living well with dementia, who can be calmed when confused or positively uplifted by a piece of music from her past. Subconsciously that memory link that can’t be made through everyday communication is immediately made with the introduction of a piece of music personal to her – the wonders of the brain, still amazes me that!

I don’t personally know what I would do without music; I too must confess that I use music as a crutch dependent of moods. Often I have blasted out a good rock song such as ‘Foo Fighters – Everlong’ http://youtu.be/eBG7P-K-r1Y to blast the cobwebs away (very high volume very loud out of tune singing – sorry neighbours!).

I even use music to drive my business work ethic. Often when I am feeling on a low ebb or have a day which didn’t go particularly well, which can start the doubts over what you are trying to achieve (I am sure most self-employed people can relate to that) there is nothing I love more than putting on this track – ‘Rudimental – Not Giving In’ http://youtu.be/J9-Lwpgfd1E

This is now my personal and business mantra, a call to arms so to speak, that I will not return to those dark days of working for a corporation :-)

When my Granddad passed away several years ago he was my first close relative in my family that had died and again it was to music I turned. This may have been in part to his love of music, my Granddad would often be found at family occasions with microphone in hand belting out ‘Oh Flower of Scotland’ the strong memories come flooding back even as I type these words. 

The track that helped me when he passed was ‘Jon Allen’s – In your shadow’ http://youtu.be/T82c-CeQDDc I even had the pleasure of writing to Jon via social media to tell him this and I received a lovely response saying that he was glad that his song writing had contributed as a positive influence.

It is true that music has played a huge part in my life, being brought up in a house of music ranging from my parents love of the Mersey Beat scene to an older brother who led me down the path of Paul Weller (my favourite musician of all time) and the early 80’s new wave scene such as Sigue Sigue Sputnik, there has always been a soundtrack playing in the background.

To this day it has rubbed off on my children. They are always curious about new music and there is never a point in the day where a variety of music isn’t played in all rooms of the house. This interest has also led me to chatting with them over where the music or musician comes from the background or genre of the music and has led to some really interesting conversations, especially in the case of PSY!

I am always amazed by music and the impression it leaves on people so please feel free after reading to leave your favourite piece or a track that evokes a strong memory, it would be great to hear them,

Take Care, till next time,

And remember ‘With Hope and Belief there are no Limitations’

#SupportingLocal

Earlier this year as always in our household the children where deciding what to give up for Lent. I must make an admission that I am not the most religious type however Lent has always been good period to teach the children the values of what they have, take for granted and to really get them thinking and talking about certain aspects of their own lives.

Every year without fail I get the ‘Daaaaaddddd (always in an elongated way I hasten to add) what are you giving up?’ and as the saying goes I never ask my kids to ‘do something I am not prepared to do myself’.

Every year does get harder and harder to find something to do though and this year was no exception – abstinence on alcohol (I don’t drink that much honest!), give up smoking (I have never smoked), give up chocolate (I’m no chocoholic), give up TV (never been a Telly Addict).

So what to do, well we were if you remember this year at the height of the Horse Meat scandal and during this period via Twitter I had connected with Charlotte Farringdon (@charliegeorge1) who was the co-founder of the campaign @Local4Lent.

Now in my business and my own life values I am a huge advocate for #supportinglocal #shoplocal and this campaign, which was to give up supermarkets and buy all food, produce and services from local retailers, really looking to inspire local communities to look locally at supporting themselves, was indeed positive and hit a chord with me. 

‘Eureka!’ I said in an almost Archimedean way ‘That’s what I am going to do’

So that’s what I did, but that would be a very boring blog post now wouldn't it so why have I felt the need to speak to the masses well this #Local4Lent continued long after the period of Lent and has almost become a way of our family life now.

Several things have happened as a direct result of our change to shopping local:

• We now know our local butcher, fruit and veg shop, local coffee shop/restaurant owners by name and often talk about various things happening in our community. Indeed as part of my business support I have connected a local residential home with several of these local businesses and developed better service provisions for them as a result – #communitybuilding
• We have saved money!!!! Yes I know it maybe does not seem possible to many “Oh using local shops you have to pay more” I hear often. Yes that might be the case sometimes but we don’t throw half our food away now – ONLY BUY 1 APPLE IF YOU WANT/NEED 1 APPLE for example. And on more than one occasion as regular customers we have been asked to try different things or have additional things put in for us (but best not say where this is just in case everyone starts going there J)
• Whilst visiting anywhere with the children now they will always be on the lookout for local shops, coffee shops, restaurants and the such like and will often say we can’t go in there it’s not a local shop (I fear a positive brainwashing has occurred)
• I have always been a keen cook and baker of many cakes and breads however all meals within our house are now made freshly made with local shop bought ingredients and again my children do take a keen interest on where the food has come from and what is in the meals prepared.
• Finally we even, as a family, took it one step further and as a mini-experiment and a great game for the kids whilst on a holiday break here in Lincoln we set ourselves the task of just going to shops, cafes, restaurants, activities that where both local and recommended via local people on twitter or in the local establishments we went into (a future blog will appear on this, watch this space). Some amazing businesses and people we met too!

After doing some research and due to my love for all things Twitter related I know that each area of the country indeed the world has different campaigns, movements, organisations set up to encourage people to #shoplocal or #buybritish or #supportlocal my challenge to you dear readers is this call to arms:

Think about what you can do!

Think about what you can change!

and go and find out about things, talk to people and above all

Engage in your local community!

you never know you might just find something you never knew existed

Thank you for reading and remember,

“With hope and belief there are no limitations”

Stephen

Pirates and Care Homes

So where to start my first blog post … well with PIRATES and CARE HOMES seemed as good a place as any.

I was recently listening to a radio programme which was discussing children’s literary characters and film figures that are pirates and what this evoked as an image – Hook (Peter Pan), Long John Silver (Treasure Island) and Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of Caribbean)  to name but a few.

So if I was to ask 100 people, just like in a Family Fortunes style, I am pretty sure that I would get a response somewhere along the lines of: Eye patch; Wooden leg; Polly the parrot; Jolly Roger; Sailing Ships; Sea shanties; “Argh Jim Lad”; certainly for me it all ends in a likeable rogue who can always bring a smile to your face when you speak like a pirate.

But this brings me onto what this set me thinking about.

This perception of the pirate characteristics above has been developed through childhood and adulthood with literature, films etc. however this perception is not how a pirate is in the here and now, is it? These are all images from a long time ago that we still hold as good today but you ask anybody who has been approached or has unfortunately been kidnapped by todays pirates, please ask Captain Phillips or Colin Darch (or the WI), these jovial characteristics are not an accurate portrayal of a pirate in the present.

So why did I say this first blog is on pirates and care homes, well this again got my thought processes continuing on perception and how that plays a huge part in how we feel, speak or even make informed decisions on what we perceive as true reflections.

So let’s do our Family Fortunes pitch again this time the question for our 100 people (with no direct link to the care industry) is What is the first thing that you think of when I say ‘Care Home’?  Again please afford me my views here, I would say a high majority would be – ‘Old people’, ‘Sitting around in winged chairs’, ‘Smelly’ (I actually had this said to me a couple of weeks ago) or ‘Abuse’ (due to recent press coverage).

As before with our wonderful pirates, this perception is not how Care Homes are in the here and now, is it?

I can’t say that it isn't still, in some small part, however there are amazing provisions within Care Homes that are not hitting the headlines or being held up for all to see for these perceptions or images for people to change.

This has to change!!!!! A hard process I know as we don’t do positive stories unless there is a huge back story (please reference X-Factor culture for this) however greater awareness and positive values can change perceptions. Even if this is just to break down some of those misconceived images and gets people to start thinking about care in a more positive way then this can only be a good thing right?

Please take time today to think – Are today's  pirates exactly how we see them? Are today’s Care Homes exactly as we see them?

I thank you for taking the time to read this first of what I hope will be many blogs in the future

“With hope and belief there are no limitations”

Stephen